Between good and bad
by ImaginationQueen294
Summary: Sarah is a lonely orphan, thrown into Hogwarts, trying to handle normal teenage problems and love... Unfortunately her heritage doesn't let her live her life. And above it all, Draco was messing things up for her...
1. Prologue

"… So I guess that's all for today." said Voldemort. Meeting was finally over and I could yawn and stretch my arms freely. Spending two hours talking about killing people kind of exhaust you. I was on my way to doors when someone called my name. I turned around and I saw Draco. "What do you want?" I asked him angrily. I didn't have the nerve to listen to his sarcastic remarks right now.

"So, are you going back to school?" Why does he want to know that?

"Yes. Why are you asking?"

"Don't be so moody. I'm going back too. We can go together. If you want, of course. But it's not necessary." He was awkward as hell and I didn't know what's wrong with him. Where is that confident, arrogant asshole I used to know?

"Ok, whatever."

That's when he was back to normal. He was suddenly a few inches taller, he had his well-known smirk on his face and after a while he started with his usual talk.

"So, how's your stinky Gryffindor? I saw you're losing points again."

"If you intend to tease me, I kindly advice you to go away before I jinx you." He rolled his eyes.

"What's wrong with you today? You're such a lemon!"

"I am what?!"

"Never mind." he said, but a wide smile spread over his face.

We spent the rest of our journey in silence. When we came to the Great Hall, he suddenly stopped me and he started to check his pockets, looking for something. At last, he pulled out a small black bag, which he turned around. A silver necklace fell out. It was simple, there was only a snake twirled around the skull. That snake had green eyes and a whole necklace was beautiful. He put it around my neck. When he was in front of me again, his face quickly moved towards mine, trying to kiss me. I slapped his face and with a smirk I said "Not so fast, gentleman." I turned around and left him wondering.


	2. Chapter 1: The Runaway

It was the beginning of the summer holidays. I was walking along our street and thinking about my year on Diozo Lancheron, our wizarding school. It will be very boring to return to the muggle world after a year of magic. I was just thinking how lame this summer will be because my mom wouldn't let me use magic when I came to our house. I walked up our jammed staircase, which was filled with magazines, shoes and all the other stuff my mom loved to leave at the front door. We were the only ones to have such a mess; we lived in a suburban so everyone inspected their neighbours' houses and then gossip about it. I really hated it; I never really got into this muggle world. I took out my keys and tried to unlock the door, but they already were unlocked. What on Earth? My mom never left our front door open. She is getting more and more forgetful. I went in and put down my suitcase and I felt relief. This stupid suitcase was so heavy and after dragging it for so long it was pretty nice to put it down. I got my shoes off and went on in the living room. I wanted to surprise my mom, so I tiptoed in, but no one was there. _She is probably in the kitchen,_ I thought. I proceeded to the door and opened them fast. I said "Surprise!" but it change into a scream. My mom was lying on the floor, facedown and her wand a few feet away. I crouched and checked for the pulse or breathing. Nothing. She was dead. I was desperate. What to do?

_*flashback*_

_My mom and I were baking cookies and singing songs. "I love you, mamma." I said. I was five and I was a very talkative child back then. She smiled but then suddenly became a bit sadder. "What is it, mamma?" "Oh, nothing sweetie, I'm just thinking about something." "What are you thinking about?" "I'm thinking how fast you grew and that you're older now." "Of course I am, I'm older every day." She still looked concerned. "I've got something to tell you." She said with a distant voice. She put our cookies in the oven and took me to her cabinet. She sat me opposite of her and went to take a small package. She came back, sit down and start talking. "So, sweetie, you know you have a father?" "I do?" "Yes, you have a father, but he doesn't know you exist. He is a very important, but bad wizard, and if he ever finds out you're alive, he'll kill you and me. So, if something happens to me you won't have anyone to live with. If something happens to me, you'll have to go to United Kingdom. You will have to visit a new school, Hogwarts." "But why would I have to go to another school? I like it here." I asked and wondering where this is going. A new school? That's not for me. "If you stay here, he'll find you." "But I have friends here." Mom rolled her eyes and said "You'll find new friends there. There is a headmaster Dumbledore. You have to go to him and give him this paper and this bottle. He must first read the letter and then see the memory. Is that clear?" "Yes, but how will I get there?" "You will go to UK by plane and then you will have to find the Leaky Cauldron. I will add a map here, where I will mark the Leaky Cauldron, Hogsmeade and Hogwarts." "Ok. But mom, nobody can hurt you, you're a witch." "She smiled for the first time and a tension was gone. "Yes, but some other people are also witches and wizards, and your father is one of them." "Oh, well I'm sure you can beat him." She laughed and we went back to bake cookies together…_

_*end of flashback*_

I couldn't move, my body was frozen and all I could do was cry. After a minute or so, there was a loud crack and I jumped up. I could finally move my body and I immediately started packing, my mom's voice still ringing in my ears.

The engine of the plane was roaring and we were speeding up. We went faster and faster and then a plane lifted and we were suddenly flying. It was the first time I've ever been on a plane and I would definitely be impressed if my mom wouldn't just got killed. I still couldn't believe she's no longer alive. She was always there for me although I thought she wasn't the greatest mom. She was, she did her best. I started to cry again, I took out tissues and I tried to be as quiet as I could, because I didn't want to bother anyone else. And then the truth has hit me: I'm an orphan, I don't have anyone and I'm all alone in this cruel world. I bend my knees and put my arms around my legs. I looked outside and I saw my own reflection in the window. I was pale as always, maybe just a bit paler. I had long black wavy hair and grey eyes. My mom always said I look just like my father; I guess I will never know, but I believe my mom as I look nothing like her. She has long chocolate brown hair and warm brown eyes. Her skin was slightly tanned, shinning in gold. She also wasn't exactly slim person; she always said she's just more curved. On the other side, I was always slim and I didn't need to be careful about my weight. Also, we had a totally different personality. My mom was a talkative person, very enthusiastic. She was the center of every group and she was the most kind, friendly and helpful person, so she had many friends. I am talkative, but only if I know that person. I'm always rather on the edge of group and I was mostly more of a lonely wolf. I liked to study, I was very competitive and solo player, I couldn't work in group. I always wanted my mom to teach me some spells, but she always said that the laws said we can't. Every time she said that I thought she's a coward, but now I was sorry for that and every other time I insulted her. I knew I will never be able to apologize to her. She was the best mother I could get. And she was a witch. What more could I want?

*flashback*

I came down in a kitchen and mom was already brewing a potion and making some pancakes at the same time. She was always multitasking; she couldn't stand to do just one thing at once. I wanted to sit down, but an owl has come to the window and I went to take the letters from it. I took it in and gave her some water and food. I went back to the table and sat down meanwhile reading the letters. I suddenly found one written on an old parchment with magenta ink. It was for me, so I opened it and I took out the paper I started reading, but just after a few lines I stopped and showed it to my mum. I was thrilled!

From: School of witchcraft and wizardry Diozo Lancheron Slovenia

For: Sarah Caldwell

_Dear Sarah, _

_We'd like to welcome you on our school and we are glad to say you're accepted on Diozo Lancheron, one of the best schools of witchcraft in the world. You're going to start attending your first year, so here are some informations for you:_

_You will come to our school on September 1st_

_There is no school transport organized_

_Your school is located Ljubljana (for more accurate location check the map bellow)_

_You will have to have some equipment (the list is on the other page) you can buy it on our summer trade, which is going to be on 14.7. _

_We wish you a good summer,_

_Maria Orehek _

_Headmistress of Diozo Lancheron Slovenia_

My mom's eyes shined with pride when she read the letter. »So that old bat became a headmistress? Stay away from her, she's a piece of Satan's work." She said, remembering her old days. Then she said "We have to celebrate that. Where do you want to go?"

We went in a Chinese restaurant that night and it was one of the best days in my life.

*end of a flashback*

I was 14 back then and I've just finished 9 years of elementary school; if I wouldn't go to Diozo Lancheron I would go to a muggle grammar school. I was really relieved I am a witch, because if I wouldn't have magical powers I would have to go to school with those muggle neighbors. They all bullied me and I was sick of them and everyone in our suburban neighborhood. It was all just consequence of one small event in the past that has marked me among them…

*flashback*

I was 4 years old and every normal 4 years old girl played with dolls. Everyone except me. I hated dolls and as soon as my mom didn't watch I used magic to play. She always tried to stop me but I liked it so much better when those flowers were floating in the air and stones changed colors… One day I was playing on the lawn and my mom left to check something in the kitchen. Everywhere around me there was hedge, so no one could see me. I threw my dolls away and started to do magic. After some time I looked up and I saw three pairs of eyes looking through the hole in the hedge, observing what I was doing. I panicked and they disappeared.

*end of the flashback*

Since that day, everywhere I went I heard "Witch…" "Freak..." and other whispers. I was sad many times, feeling depressed because of them. Through years I learned how to ignore them. If it wasn't for my mom I would never survive these years. And now she's dead. I started crying in the pillow and I soon fell asleep and I slept all the way.


	3. Chapter 2: School

When I got to Hogsmeade, it was already dark. I was walking fast towards Hogwarts and although I tried very hard I couldn't hide my shivering. It was dark and cold, pebbles creaking underneath my shoes. The sky was cloudy and there was no moonlight to guide my way. After some time I finally arrived to Hogwarts. It was a magnificent castle, it radiated powerful magic. It was very strong and had a medieval look. But when I finally came to front doors, I had absolutely no idea what to do. You can't just knock on doors this big! But my manners also didn't let me just walk in. So I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Nothing moved and I was very embarrassed, but then I heard distant footsteps. I soon realized that coming from one part of the castle to another must take some time. Footsteps became louder and clearer and doors finally opened. Light illuminating the inside burst out and blinded me for a second. I shadowed my eyes and looked who's opened the door. It was an old man, but not weak, actually it was quite the opposite; he had that glow of importance, power and wisdom. I realized that he has to legendary Albus Dumbledore.

"Welcome young girl. How can I help you?" He was nice and pleasant but he had a kind of smile on his face. Smile that was almost a grin. Like he would know why I'm here. But he couldn't know it, could he? He had those smart blue eyes that were looking at me so fiercely I thought he's going to see into my mind, into the bottom of my soul. But thankfully, he couldn't. So I thought that it's the best to introduce myself at first. "Well, my name is Sarah and I'd like to …" He suddenly interrupted me, saying "But dear, I don't think we should discuss things here at the front door. You're going to get cold if we're going to be here for much longer, you're already shivering. Come on, I'll take you to my office." So I was left with nothing else than just to follow him and trust my mom's words that everything will be fine from now on.

After crossing a confusing net of moving staircases with different traps and endless amounts of secret passages, we finally came to his office. When I saw what instruments he had, I wanted to be there forever, just exploring all kinds of devices. But I had to give him my mom's message. So I started again. "My name is Sarah, I'm daughter of Ann, who I believe was your friend, is that right?" He looked surprised. "Ann? Ann Caldwell?" "Yes, that's my mom. Well, she asked me that if she ever…" And then I fell apart, remembering what happened back there in our house. I cried, I wanted her back so much it hurt me physically. He tried to comfort me and after some time I calmed down a bit. I continued with my little story. "So, she's dead. She asked me if anything ever happens to her, I've got to come here." "Why here? And what happened to her?" "How can I know, do I look like psychic?" I shouted at him. Like I wasn't questioning me that same question all the time! "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Please, calm down and sit back." I suddenly realized that while I was shouting I also stood up and almost smashed some instrument on his table. I quietly sat down and suddenly remembered one more thing. "Oh, she also gave some letter and a memory for you. I've got them somewhere in my pockets…" I started looking and I started to panic a bit when I found it in the inside pocket. I gave both of it to him. He quickly scanned the letter and he seemed slightly shocked. Then he turned back to me and asked me "So, you're visiting our school now?" "Yes, I think that was included in my mom's plan. So, can I stay here?" I couldn't think what I would do if he'd say no. "Of course you're staying, you're mother said you'll visit this school from now on and if she said so, we have to obey her. Now, what are we going to do with you?" "You're going to accept me in the school?" "Yes yes, of course, but which year are you going to attend? Tell me, how old are you?" "I'm fifteen." "Alright, you'll go to fifth year. Try to study a bit over summer, so you'll be able to keep up with them. Now, we've got to sort you into a house." "Ok, but what are 'houses'?" He looked at me in amazement, like I wouldn't know how much is 2+2. "Each student is sorted into a house that represents his values the most. There are four houses, but I will let the hat explain you." "The hat!?" "Yes, the sorting hat. It sorts students into houses." "Ok…" I said, still considering the option of talking to the hat. And then he brought the most tattered hat I've ever seen. It gave me a heart attack when it started singing.

_In times of old, when I was new,  
And Hogwarts barely started,  
The founders of our noble school  
Thought never to be parted._

United by a common goal,  
They had the selfsame yearning  
To make the world's best magic school  
And pass along their learning.

"Together we will build and teach"  
The four good friends decided.  
And never did they dream that they  
Might some day be divided.

For were there such friends anywhere  
As Slytherin and Gryffindor?  
Unless it was the second pair  
Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,

So how could it have gone so wrong?  
How could such friendships fail?  
Why, I was there, so I can tell  
The whole sad, sorry tale.

Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those  
Whose ancestry's purest."  
Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose  
Intelligence is surest."

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those  
With brave deeds to their name."  
Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot  
And treat them just the same."

These differences caused little strife  
When first they came to light.  
For each of the four founders had  
A house in which they might

Take only those they wanted, so,  
For instance, Slytherin  
Took only pure-blood wizards  
Of great cunning just like him.

And only those of sharpest mind  
Were taught by Ravenclaw  
While the bravest and the boldest  
Went to daring Gryffindor.

_Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest  
and taught them all she knew,  
Thus, the houses and their founders  
Maintained friendships firm and true._

So Hogwarts worked in harmony  
for several happy years,  
but then discord crept among us  
feeding on our faults and fears.

The Houses that, like pillars four  
had once held up our school  
now turned upon each other and  
divided, sought to rule.

And for a while it seemed the school  
must meet an early end.  
what with dueling and with fighting  
and the clash of friend on friend.

And at last there came a morning  
when old Slytherin departed  
and though the fighting then died out  
he left us quite downhearted.

And never since the founders four  
were whittled down to three  
have the Houses been united  
as they once were meant to be.

And now the Sorting Hat is here  
and you all know the score:  
I sort you into Houses  
because that is what I'm for.

But this year I'll go further,  
listen closely to my song:  
though condemned I am to split you  
still I worry that it's wrong,

Though I must fulfill my duty  
and must quarter every year  
still I wonder whether sorting  
may not bring the end I fear.

Oh, know the perils, read the signs,  
the warning history shows,  
for our Hogwarts is in danger  
from external, deadly foes

And we must unite inside her  
or we'll crumble from within  
I have told you, I have warned you...  
let the Sorting now begin.

Then Dumbledore said "Nice song, but it's not the beginning of the year yet. We got someone who's coming from another school, but we have to sort her into a house." The old hat has mumbled something I couldn't hear, but Dumbledore was satisfied with that. Then he took the hat and put it on my head. I was weird and dusty, but I almost jumped two meters when it started talking to me. "So, you don't know yet which house is right for you. I don't think Hufflepuff would fit you. Maybe Ravenclaw, you're smart… But you want excitement too, isn't that right? Then Gryffindor, brave and sometimes reckless. But most of all, you want to be the best, you seek glory… If you want power, go to Slytherin." "Ok, but which one is the right one for me?" "Hmm, that is a very hard question, young lady. Which one do you want to be in?" "I don't know…" I said, trying really hard to choose which one's for me. Then suddenly a voice outside my head was heard "Gryffindor." "I took the hat of my head and asked "What?" Dumbledore answered me slowly "Your mother's wish was to put you in Gryffindor. So, that is arranged. You will soon receive an owl with a list of books you need for this year. You have to come to King's cross on Platform 9 3/4. I think that's everything." I wanted to go, but there was something more I had to ask him "Do you know who my father is?" He looked at me sadly and then answered "No, I don't. But I wish I would. By the way, do you have anywhere to live during the summer?" I quickly lied "Yes, of course. On 1st of September on Platform 9 ¾. I got it." I left the office, but came back in after a few seconds "Just something; can you show me the way out?" He escorted me to the front doors and then I departed for London. When I came to Leaky Cauldron it was probably 4 a.m. already. I got a room and I fell on the bed and fell asleep instantly.

* * *

**I have to explain some things. So, Sarah is from Slovenia and in Slovenia, we have a different school system. You start to go to school when you're 6 and you first have 9 years of obligate Elementary school and then you have Grammar school for 4 years. So, their magic school lasts 4 years and they go there instead of Grammar school. They learn more things in one year, so she learned in her first year (she comes to Hogwarts after a year of magic school in Slovenia) as much as she would have learned on Hogwarts in 3-4 years.**

**Also, Ljubljana is an actual capital city of Slovenia and the headmistress of her Slovenian school is named after my Chemistry and Biology teacher.**

**Hope you like it!**

**P.S. – not necessary to read - As I said, I hope you like it. Please, review, review, review. Tell me what you think about the story. I also have to mention that my friend Tanja (her profile name .thunder) often helps me with ideas, finding the right words… She writes fanfiction about Winx Club, so if you have time, check those out too, no matter if you watched Winx or not (I didn't and I always understand what's going on). We also invented a whole new way of naming things, places …**

**You take a nearby magazine or you open some website.**

**You find at least 2 interesting words that sound interesting to you.**

**You mix them togheter. For example: Diozo Lancheron is Dior+Kenzo and Lancome+Boucheron**

**So, I hope you read more chapters and I hope you will enjoy just as much as I do when I write them.**


	4. Chapter 3: Summer holidays

_**Chapter 2**_

When I woke up, I made a plan; I decided to live here during the summer. I asked the bartender about the price "I will stay here whole summer. How much would I need to pay for that?" But when he told me how high the price was I almost fainted. "I can't afford it!" I said desperately.

"Maybe you could earn some money, I think there is an assistant needed in Flourish and Blotts, why don't you give it a try and ask a manager for a job?" he asked. I decided I will get this job at any cost. I ate my breakfast and dressed myself appropriately. I walked out on the street and sun blinded me for a few seconds. I didn't have a clue where this shop was so I just started walking along the street, hoping I will spot a sign or something else. After checking out a display of Quidditch shop I soon founded Flourish and Blotts. It was a bookshop, so I had a good feeling about getting a job, as I spent half of my time reading and studying. I entered the shop and the first thing I have noticed was a long queue. There was only one manager that had to service everybody. This will be an easy task, I thought. As the manager hurried past me, I simply blocked his way and started my speech "Oh, I see how busy you are, you are probably working very hard. I am very good with books, though. I really know a lot about them, I've read hundreds and hundreds of books. I'm also a bit broke… What a coincidence, you needing an assistant and me being perfect for that job and needing some money. I think we could help each other, just give me a job and we will both be better." I ended up with a very nice smile. He looked at me and at first tried to go around me, but I 'unintentionally' moved the same way every time. After the fifteenth blocking, he just said "You won't stop, will you?"

"I'm not really planning to." I responded. He was looking annoyed but gave up "Ok, you can work here. You're starting right now, you're going to work a full time and you're going to get paid at the end of the summer."

"I'd rather see if you could pay to the bartender in Leaky Cauldron. How much will I earn?" I asked. He told me the number and I was pleased, it will cover my living and there will be a bit left for my school supplies. I quickly started working and he was very pleased with me at the end of the day.

Summer went pretty fast as I was working most of the day and after working I mostly just read books that the manager allowed me to borrow. I bought books for my class, and at first I didn't understand anything, but I studied every day and I soon knew everything I needed to know. I already learned everything for this year in July, so I had a whole August in which I studied things I didn't need to know until 7th year. I borrowed books every afternoon and returned them next morning. Manager was very pleased with me and was saying that I'm saving his life all the time. I could also see all the newspapers he bought and customers brought new gossips every day, so I could easily keep the track and knew about the latest events. I heard a lot of rumours about Dumbledore and Harry Potter. As much as I heard they were telling that Lord Voldemort was back. I had no clue who he was, and when I asked everyone was surprised. Some old ladies were the only ones prepared to talk about him. They said his name was cursed and everybody referred to him as You-Know-Who or The-One-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. They told me he is the most powerful dark wizard ever; he killed many people back then. His supporters were named Death Eaters and were almost as horrible as he was. He got killed when his curse backfired once he tried to kill a baby, Harry Potter. Now he and Dumbledore were saying he's alive again. I couldn't quite believe Dumbledore because as far as I'm concerned it's impossible to return from dead. But if he's never died… Anyway, I decided I'll just keep my distance with Harry Potter and sooner or later I will find out who's right, Dumbledore or Minister. I must say, I don't really like this Minister. He looks so fake, with his green bowler and smile spread over his face at any time. But I don't care, I can't really influence on what Minister is like.

I was in bed that evening, but I couldn't sleep. Something bothered me on You-Know-Who, more particularly on his Death Eaters. I knew I heard about them once, but I just couldn't remember when. I was shifting sides and after some time – it could be ten minutes or a few hours – I finally fell asleep. I was dreaming about them, about Lord Voldemort. It was dark and I was trying to see who they were, but I couldn't. My mum told me I have to see which one of them is my father. And at that point I woke up. I was terrified. Who is my father? And more importantly, what has he done? What if he was some criminal? All this questions were buzzing through my head. I didn't want to find out who he was because he has probably done some very nasty things. And what concerned me the most was: did he kill my mum? I don't know when I fell asleep; the next thing I remember was waking up in the morning. I thought a lot about it later, but I knew I will never know who he was, and luckily, what has he done.

1st of September was quickly here and I didn't want to go to Hogwarts, as I just became used to this neighbourhood. I was very nervous that morning. I ate only a bit and then said goodbye to the bartender. I went to the station by underground, where everyone was staring at my trunk and cat, named Laly. Some people believed she brought bad luck because she was black, but that was not true. I let them believe if they want and I sometimes even threatened some people with my cat. But she's actually the best pet you could have.

Once I got to the station, two hours earlier than I needed, I had absolutely no idea where to go. I had a ticket for a Platform 9 ¾. I had no idea about this British system because I haven't seen any number 9 ¾. Of course there were platforms, but none of them was 9 ¾, they were only 9 or 10. I asked some people, but all of them were saying I'm trying to prank them. So much about British politeness. I sat on the bench thinking what to do, when I saw a crazy man, who was speeding with his trolley towards a wall. I was expecting a loud crash, but instead of that he just went through the stone, and he didn't come out on the other side! And then it clicked to me; this is the way to get to my train. I thought I was silly before, of course hundreds and hundreds of wizards can't just come here and chat a bit. Of course we had a special train. So a few minutes after he went through, I took my trunk there, I was pretending to read a leaflet meanwhile I slowly leaned on the wall. I fell through and finally found platform 9 ¾. I was nervous again and didn't really know what to do. I took my luggage on the train and found an empty compartment. I sat and leaned my head on the window and looked out. Long way from home, I thought. Suddenly a compartment doors opened and a group of girls came in, chatting about their holidays. "Do you mind if we seat here?" they asked. Although I preferred being alone, I knew there's not enough space so I answered "No, you can sit here." They looked keen to find out more about me, but I just looked out through the window again and they ignored me the rest of the journey.

Meanwhile we were driving, a witch with a food trolley came, but I wasn't hungry at all. I listened to others and regretted I couldn't have the same summer as they had. After some time they said it's time to change. I saw them changing into school cloaks and I imitated them.

"How old are you?" they asked me.

"I'm 15." I answered quietly.

"And you're in which house…?" was their next question.

"Gryffindor." I said, hoping I remembered the name right. They haven't corrected me so I assumed it was ok. I wanted to talk to them more, but I had no confidence in my English. After a few minutes I finally said "And which house are you in?"

"Hufflepuff" answered a girl next to me. "And they are both Ravenclaws." She explained instead of her friends. Obviously people from different houses were getting along well. "You know, I don't really remember you. Have you been here all these years…?"

"No, actually this is my first year of Hogwarts." I told them. They looked at me amazed and questions just started raining.

"Is this your first year of magical education or have you attended any other schools?" "Where are you from?" "How do you know which house are you?"

"Well, I was in school in Slovenia before, but now I'm going to continue studying on Hogwarts. I was here during the summer and we've sorted out which house I'm going to be. Anything else?" I said.

"Yeah, why are you changing schools?" asked a girl opposite to her.

"My parents' decision." I said shortly and we arrived to the Hogsmeade station. We went down and I felt lost again. Where am I supposed to go now? I observed what others were doing and realized we had to go to carriages, pulled by some monstrous creatures. I found those girls from my compartment again and we went to the same carriage. We quickly came to the front doors and then inside. It was just as medieval as I remembered it. I also noticed there are four clocks that measure some pearls. I asked those girls and they told me those clocks measure house points. So much about friendship between houses. I went with others inside this big dining room they had and quickly realized it was not a coincidence there are four tables. I eavesdropped on others and I soon heard someone saying "Look at those Gryffindors, they're even worse than last year aren't they?" I sat at the table he was looking at, hoping it was the right one. I was looking around, when a ghost came to sit next to me. I asked him very quietly "Is this the Gryffindor table?" He looked at me surprised but he realized I was new so he told me exactly which house sits at which table. It turned out I was at the right one. A ceremony began and youngsters were sorted into different houses. Afterwards, the feast began. I was very hungry because I was too nervous to eat before. After we ate, Dumbledore had a speech. He was interrupted by a new teacher for Defence against the dark arts. She didn't seem like someone with much experience, more like some secretary at the ministry. I can't believe that everybody can be a teacher here. Well, I am not going to depend on her education, I can study by myself. I was almost relaxed, when they announced we have to go to dormitories. I started panicking, when I heard voices of two other students that were calling first years. I followed them but a voice called me "Miss Caldwell? May I have a word with you?" I turned around and saw it was a Professor calling. I came to her and she said we had some things to discuss and that we will do that in her office. She led a way through a labyrinth of staircases and halls. We ended up in her office and she offered me some cookies. I refused it as we just had a feast. She said "I heard you're going to this school from now on, so we got to talk about some things. I'm the head of Gryffindor, your house. First, we got some core subjects, but we also got elective subjects that start in third year. Now, the problem is you've missed two years…"

"I can study more and learn these two years quickly. This is not a problem at all." I told her.

"If you say so… You can choose among Arithmancy, Muggle Studies, Divination, Study of Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures. You have to choose at least two subjects."

I thought about it. I don't need Muggle studies, I know everything about them, I lived with them for 14 years. Divination is just making up some things and hoping they will happen so that you can say you were right. Other three sounded fine. "Ok, I will go to Arithmancy, Study of Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures."

"That's settled now. You all get your timetables tomorrow at breakfast. Now it's a bit late so I will take you to your Common room and tell you the password."

We went through the labyrinth again and met and old shaggy man. He started yelling "Students out of their beds!" but Professor McGonagall told him "I had to talk to her, that's why she's so late. Now if you can stop yelling…" He looked very angry but kept quiet. He was obviously someone you shouldn't mess with, at least if you were a student. Professor took me to the portrait of some fat woman and told her "Mimbulus Mimbletonia". Portrait swung and there was a hole behind it, which led to the Common Room. My first thought was: Can you complicate our passwords even more? She said goodbye and left me. I climbed into Common room and saw there were only few left. I was very sleepy and I wanted to go to bed, but I realized I had no idea which staircase was the right one! So I had to sit by the window until someone finally went upstairs and I finally knew where girls' bedrooms are. I went higher and higher and got to our bedroom. Others were already there, mostly chatting, but as soon as they saw me they stopped.

"Who are you?" asked a curly brunette, who was taking first years before.

"I'm Sarah and I'm new on this school. I just came and I'm going to be in fifth year. So, I guess this bed is mine?" I asked and showed on a bed, which was the only one left unoccupied.

"Yes, I guess." Answered the curly brunette. I took my things and changed into my pyjama. I was very quick, and while I was lying in my bed, others were still bickering whether to believe Harry Potter or not. Like it matters. I was turned in the opposite direction, so they couldn't see my face. I was crying, like every evening this summer. But I knew my mum would've been proud on me; I got to Hogwarts, all by myself. But I had a feeling that this whole year is going to be tough.


	5. Chapter 4: First week

Chapter 3: First week

My alarm clock woke me up at 7 o'clock. It actually woke up the whole room and everyone was still sleepy. They asked me what time is it and I answered »It's 7 o'clock. « They all looked at me in disbelief. That bossy curly brunette was the one who informed me that in Britain they start school at 9 o'clock. They all went back to sleep, but I was too nervous for that. I prepared myself in ten minutes and spent next fifty minutes waiting for the others to wake up. As they did, I waited for them to dress up. There was an uncomfortable silence lying over the room and they were obviously still upset about the last night's fight. Oh, come on, who cares if you believe Dumbledore or Voldemort. We have lessons today; don't they consider that as more important? They needed whole fifteen minutes to prepare, I was already freaking out from the inside, although I pretended to do something useful, like replacing some stuff and so on. I followed the Brunette from the room to the Common room as she was the first one to leave. She met two other boys there and I followed them to the Great Hall, trying to memorize the way. I gave up and stop trying to remember our way half way there. I ate near them, so that I could follow them back to our Common Room. Food was really delicious, I had to admit it. I had a mini heart attack when owls rushed inside. Boun apetit with birds' feathers in your pumpkin juice. Meanwhile Professor McGonagall gave us our timetables. I looked at it and realized it's going to be a tough day.

When I came to Common room at the end of the day, I was exhausted. First, I had to follow the Brunette all the time, otherwise I got lost immediately. Second, everything was in English, so it was even harder to understand. Third, lessons weren't as good as on my ex-school. For example Potions. This professor hasn't explained us why each ingredient is used in that potion, he just wrote how to make and we made it. And he was also very unfair, he really didn't like Gryffindors. He tried to find mistakes in my potions, but he couldn't. Jeeeej. One of the most dreadful lessons was History of magic. Professor was really boring, he talked with the same voice whole hour. I really tried to stay awake, but others literally slept. And that Umbridge woman with her "Wands away please". One day, someone will lost their nerves and he or she will curse her. But it could've been worse. I started to work on my homework, but it was really hard writing essays in English. But the bright side, I'm going to master English in a month. After a while I went to sleep, pretty happy how the day went. I actually know my way to the Great Hall now. I was thinking about my old school and I got a bit homesick. I don't know when, but soon I fell asleep.

First week went by very fast, every day with some new troubles. On Tuesday I had the honour of meeting Peeves. He threw ink bottles on me. On Wednesday I had to find toilet and I walked into the Moaning Myrtle bathroom. On Thursday I almost knocked professor Snape when I was hurrying to be on time at the Potion Lesson. And on Friday I got stuck on the stairs because I didn't skip the one that you could sink in. I survived the first week and I've already done all my homework, so I took some books that I was really interested in and went out. They really had unbelievable library that was the best thing on the whole school. I studied a lot about the Dark Arts, especially defences, and I was really disappointed with our teacher, professor Umbridge. We never used any magic and she thought that we were going to do well on exams just by studying hard enough. Well, I must say that I won't be very good if I don't practise, so I decided I should find a room to practise in. But that will wait until I will know this school better. So I came outside and decided to read my books under an unoccupied tree. Unfortunately, nobody told me that this tree beats you as soon as you come near it.

I spent my weekend nights in the Common Room, where I heard many different and interesting things. Some were debating O.W.L.s (another thing nobody mentioned to me), but the most interesting were twins Fred and George, who tried to find young students to test their products. Hermione (I found out that's the Brunette's name) stopped them and she was really mad at them. Chill out girl, those kids are paid.

I asked them "So these products you're testing; have you tested them before?"

Fred immediately answered "Of course, we're just testing if our products are reacting the same on everyone."

I also asked "And that's all you've got? Only these candies?"

George looked at me in disbelief and answered "No, we have many other products, but for now we're just testing. Once everything will work, we're going to sell them in packs."

"So some things still don't work?" I asked and he answered "No, we can't find our final ingredient for Fever candy. We need something to get rid of the eruptions."

I thought a bit and answered "Have you tried the Prodangura's leaves? As far as I'm concerned they help a lot." They looked at each other and then Fred said

"Thanks for the idea. We really forgot about that one." They started planning and I returned to my books.

On Sunday I couldn't come up with a good idea how to keep me occupied, so I decided to find out more about that Lord Voldemort everyone keeps talking about. I went to the library, but there wasn't much written about him. I was thinking really hard how to find out more about him, because I really got interested in him as he was such a great wizard, although he was a dark one. After lunch I went to professor McGonagall and ask her about him.

"Professor? May I ask you a question?"

"Of course my dear, just ask me."

"Well, I was wondering if you know anything about this Lord Voldemort?" Professor took a deep breath here "I went to the library, but there's not much written about him. Can you tell me anything?"

"Well I don't know if I should… And he's such a bad wizard. Well, not bad, just evil. You know, when he was in school, everybody loved him. He was a great student, but then he turned to the Dark side. Since then, You-Know-Who terrorized this country. And that's another thing, nobody says his name. He's always named as You-Know-Who or The-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. But I'm not the best source."

"And who knows more about him?"

"Professor Dumbledore definitely knows a lot about him, but he's very occupied at the moment, don't bother him, alright?"

"Oh, no, I won't professor." I said with the smile and headed directly towards professor Dumbledore's office.

I came to the Gargoyles, but the Password was different now, so I couldn't come in. Right when I wanted to leave, professor Dumbledore came. He looked at me and asked me "Why are you here, Sarah?"

"I'd like to find out more about Lord Voldemort, and I searched the library but couldn't find anything and I've asked professor McGonagall, but she couldn't help me. So I came to ask you."

He looked at me and invited me to his office. After we came in he sat behind his desk and looked at me. I sat opposite of him and for some time he was silent. I already thought he forgot why I'm here, when he finally spoke "So, you want to know more about Lord Voldemort. Well, he's a very talented wizard. While he was on school he was one of the best students. Everybody thought he's going to become a very important person. At the end of his education he already met with the Dark Arts. After some time he really took Dark Arts to the new levels. He never wanted to depend on nobody, he never loved anyone. That's why he killed so many people, he enjoys terrorizing them. And, of course, because he likes to be the best, he always wants to be something special. But as not loving anyone has some good parts, it's also his greatest weakness. "

"But professor, how can love be your greatest weakness?"

"Who doesn't love, can't feel anything, can't understand the power of love. Underestimating love destroyed him the first time."

"Of course, you're saying he's back from the dead. That's impossible!"

"You're right, it's impossible. But I'm not saying he's back from the dead. I'm saying he's never died."

"But how? Hasn't the Killing Curse he used on Harry backfired? How could he survive Killing Curse?"

"Yes, it has backfired, but it destroyed only a part of his soul. Do you know anything about Horcruxes?"

"Horcruxes are objects in which you put a part of your soul. You tear your soul apart by killing a person. But Voldemort has killed so many people; does that mean he's got so many Horcruxes?"

"Not really, he's got seven Horcruxes."

"So, when the curse backfired, another part of his soul started to live?"

"Yes, and that's why he's back."

"But how did he get the body?"

"I don't know exactly … It's some kind of an ancient spell. Would that be all?"

"For now, I guess. Good day, professor." I left his office and went directly to the library. I literally searched the whole library to find out more about Lord Voldemort. Something really fascinated me about him. I mean, I know he's evil and everything, but he's such a good wizard. By the end of the day I knew everything about him. I read every book, found a few articles … But nobody knows anything about his past. I went to bed with all these information still buzzing through my head. That night I had a nightmare, about Voldemort killing my mom. What nonsense, I thought. Why would he kill my mom?

**Author's note:**

**Hey, hope you like it! Review if you want it to be longer or shorter or just because you like it. I think it's perfect for other countries as I always get super-productive at 3 a.m. I also added a Prologue, so you can check it out. Thanks to everyone who reads this. New chapter will come soon.**


	6. Chapter 5: Learning about love

**Heyy, it's me again. So, I have a new chapter for you and I hope you'll like it. Sorry I didn't post any before, but I've got a lot of school work to do. **

**Remember, it takes a minute to read, but an hour to write...**

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As the time went on, I hated that Umbridge woman more and more. One day, when she has said that we will just have to study hard enough to know everything, I lost my nerves. After I finished with my homework, I went out to find a place to practise. After some time I've gave up and was finally leaving for our Common room, when suddenly doors appeared on the wall. What on earth has just happened? I took a closer look and confirmed that these were really solid doors, not just some wall pretending to be doors (this was very popular on Hogwarts). So I opened the door and stepped inside this room. It was as big as a regular classroom, but it was much more interesting. It had all sorts of books on the shelves, pillows and equipment to practise and a mirror, where you could check out if you're doing a spell correctly. I really loved this room and I hoped nobody else knows about it. I started reading a book immediately and tried some spells that worked incredibly well. And when I finished the first book, I continued with another one, and the another one. I didn't even notice but it was running late already and I have fallen asleep. When I woke up, it was 8.55 and I rushed into my bedroom to take my stuff. I got to the dungeons at 8.59, but Snape has already let others in and as I got in, he loudly commented my arrival "So, Sarah, you couldn't come on time? Very bad manners, that will be ten points from Gryffindor." As he said that, I looked at him with such hatred and I was really disappointed that looks couldn't kill. I was already thinking which curse that I learned last night would be useful for his very painful death and how to erase a memory of all my classmates at once, when he continued with his instructions. When Draco came in ten minutes later, he didn't even say anything to him, let alone to take points from his so loved Slytherin. After I have finally calmed down, I started thinking that maybe it would be better to use some spell to wash his hair. Jeeez, he has so greasy hair you could've used them as a mirror.

I somehow survived the rest of the day, although I have to admit I have fallen asleep during History of Magic. I think that even Peeves could learn us more about it, it was that boring. When it was the end of the class I hurried in our Common room, to do my homework as fast as I could. After I have written that rotten essay for Snape and started the one for professor Binns, Hermione started looking at my essays and commenting them "Excuse me, but this is not right. You messed up two ingredients of this potion. And here is another mistake. You really should check again what you've written." Don't you have anything better to do than check other's essays? Like I care if it's ok, I'm in a hurry to find that room again! But I corrected it and thanked her. What a nerd she is. She and her gang (a.k.a. Harry and Ron) are unbearable! I mean this Harry Potter, so called the Chosen one and all this stuff, has such a bad temper, he started shouting in the middle of Defence Against the Dark Arts. He tells an impossible story and we are then supposed to believe it. Give us a proof! And this nerd Hermione, she's really tough with all this studying. And Ron … Well he's in the gang, that's bad enough. And they're doing this anti – Umbridge activity that's not going to end up well. They can't hide up something so big from the Great Toad, there's no place on this whole school that's a secret to her. Except my little room. I really enjoyed being there and studying something useful for a change. One day I wanted to learn more about potions and room actually changed and was full of cauldrons, ingredients and books. That room was a substitute for my friend. It was always there and it cheered me up. What more could I get from a friend?

Soon enough, a quidditch game came. It was Gryffindor against Slytherin. I went there and soon lost interest as nobody has bothered to explain what the point of the game was. After what seemed like a week, but was actually an hour, we could finally go to our Dorms. Actually the most interesting thing happened at the end of the game, when Gryffindors and Slytherins had a bit of an argument. Slytherins were obviously furious that they lost a game, so they started insulting Gryffindors, who responded in a very 'Gryffindorish' way; they started fighting. I must say that Slytherins are right; Gryffindors are brave, but stupid when they're acting brave. I sometimes wonder why the sorting hat didn't put me in Slytherin. I want to be among the best and greatest. Well, that was my mum's choice, she knew why I should be in Gryffindor. So, in the end, two Gryffindors got a ban to ever play again. Too bad, so sad. Everyone has left except the Slytherin trio, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. They were very happy with themselves and they really enjoyed what they did to Gryffindors. I got a bit angry, because after all I'm still a Gryffindor. No one should be happy after making teacher ban our players to play.

"And what are you laughing at? You've just lost a game, I though you're going to be very sad and disappointed. Draco, weren't you the one who hasn't got the Snitch?" I innocently asked.

He blushed a bit, but then he said sharply "It was just luck. Next time yours won't have it."

"Well, we certainly won't as you have just got two of our players a ban. But don't worry, we have enough good players, we'll replace them."

"We'll see about that…" Something in his voice told me that he already knows that we're in a really bad position. We actually don't have any players left. But like I care for a House cup, I really don't care who gets it. Well maybe I do care, just a bit.

"I am really looking forward it. Maybe you should put a following spell on a Snitch, then you will be able to find it."

He has got his wand out and fired a spell, but I easily blocked it. "Is that all you got?"

"I could beat you but I don't fight girls."

_*Draco's flashback*_

_I was in a third year. My faked injury has sentenced a hypogriff to death. We came to enjoy the sight of The Saint trio, Harry, Ron and the Mudblood, seeing the hypogriff die. It all went well until that mudblood lost her nerves and punched me. Since then I rather don't fight girls. They're so unpredictable._

"What a gentleman, but I must tell you that I still think you're a jerk." He doesn't fight girls? His problem, I fight boys and I'm going to fight him too if necessarily.

"I'm really depressed because you think I'm a jerk. This had hurt me deeply in my heart." he said sarcastically, with a smirk on his face.

We slowly lowered our wands and walked towards the castle. We'll see who's going to win the next game. I went to My Little Room, as I named it, and started reading. But I just couldn't focus. I put the book back on the shelf and started practising some old spells, but I couldn't do any of them well. What's going on with me? I went to my dorm and lay down on my bed. This was so funny; I couldn't say what was going on with me. I had a strange sensation in my stomach. This event with Draco was repeating over and over again in my head. After some time I fell asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night, starving. I went down to our Common room and saw that nobody was there anymore. I sat down in the chair and watched the fire for some time, trying to forget that I'm dying out of hunger. I was just thinking about pumpkin pie, chicken and potato, when something has moved in the corner of the room. I jumped to my feet when I saw a weird creature. At first I couldn't recognize it, but after a few minutes I distinguished it has to be a house elf. He had many hats put one on the top of another so he looked very strange. After a few seconds of silence my stomach rumbled. House elf looked struck about it and asked me "Are you hungry, Miss?" "Yes, a bit. Do you know where could I get some food?" "Just follow me, Miss, we have a lot of food in the kitchen." I followed him for some time, but when we came to the picture, behind which the kitchen is, I stopped instantly. Draco has just come there from another direction. We looked at each other surprised. Half of me was telling me to go away, another half was telling me to go to him. What to do? If I go near him, he'll just attack me and I forgot my wand in my dorm. If I go, everything will be fine. In the same moment we turned our back at each other and went back to our dorms. I was so shocked I wasn't hungry anymore. When I was in my dorm I finally got a chance to think clearly. Why on earth did I want to go to him? Wasn't he a jerk, wasn't I supposed to hate him? I slept very badly that night, waking up every half an hour or so.

_Draco_

_That Gryffindor was so rude on the pitch. She was arrogant and she obviously tried to shame me. But she couldn't. I really wanted to see who's better (of course I am) but my experiences with girls weren't the best. When I came to my room I tried to do, what I usually do when I hate someone; trying to imagine as many spells hurting them. But this time I couldn't. I started with a simple curse that would just tickle her, but my mind has made a different scenario. I came closer to her, looking her deeply in her beautiful eyes. I took her hand in mine and… What! No, no ,no, this is impossible. I will never hold her hand, even if you would put an Imperious curse on me. I tried again but it ended up even worse. Soon, it was time for dinner, but when I came into the Great Hall I wasn't hungry at all. I tried to eat a bit, but I couldn't. My eyes were checking an empty place at Gryffindor table. Why wasn't she there? Oh, just forget her. Forget her, forget her, forget her. Maybe she got hurt? Should I go and check in a hospital wing? No, if she's hurt that's a good thing. But why am I sick worried if it's alright that she's hurt? I don't know how or when, but I came to my dorm and lay down on my bed. I was thinking about that event on the pitch, how she said I'm a gentleman… After a while I remembered that we lost a match today and I immediately started planning our tactics. I imagined the game trying to focus, but after a few hours I gave up. I was very hungry as I didn't eat anything for dinner and I went to the kitchen. I was deep in my thoughts and I already came to the kitchen, when I saw her. She looked at me shocked and we automatically turned around and went in the opposite directions. After wandering around the castle I came back. She was gone. I don't know what's more terrifying; that I wanted to go to her or that she wanted to come closer to me too. But I must've imagined it. I went inside the kitchen and eat something, but I wasn't paying attention to that. Could I possibly be in love with that Gryffindor?_

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**Hope you like it, although I totally changed my first idea of how this chapter will look like. I also started to write as Draco sees things, so you're going to see a whole new side of Draco. Hope the grammar is ok, and please review, review, review and tell me what you think. I love you guys and I hope I will be able to post a new chapter very soon. **


	7. Chapter 6: I knew you were trouble

**Hey guys!**

**VERY IMPORTANT! In the letter Draco writes to his dad, words that are underlined are crossed out of the letter. I crossed them out in word, but here it got messed up. :)**

** This chapter was really tough to write, these emotions were really deep and sad and you're always in the kind of emotions as the characters are. I had some problems with the letter because I crossed out parts Draco crossed out, but here nothing was crossed so it probably sounded weird. I hope that I made it clearer now and that you will know everything now. I also changed a first two chapters, so you should check it out, they're much better now. **

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**Sarah**

After a bad night I have woken up in a very bad condition. After an hour of trying to make myself more beautiful and putting at least a pound of make up on my face I was ready to face the day. At least I thought so. I went down on a breakfast and I checked a Slytherin table every half a minute. Where was he? Why do I even care? Oh, god, this is so weird. After I ate my enormous breakfast (I was still hungry as I didn't eat anything last night) I went back to my dorm. I sat on my bed, completely lost. I've already done all my homework, I didn't have any spell to practise and everyone went outside. What should I do? I decided to go to the library to find a couple of books to read outside. I got up when I noticed my cat, a black cat with green eyes. She started purring as soon as I have picked her up. She was wandering around the school most of the time, but she really knew when I needed her. After a while I've put her down and went to the library. I checked a bit around the Defence Against the Dark Arts area, but I couldn't find any book that I liked. I suddenly found a book that was always borrowed, so I really had to get it. It was on the top shelf, so I had to step on the top on my toes, but even that didn't help. I took a little ladder that librarian used to get to the top shelf. Even on it I had to step on the top of my toes. A little bit more, just a little bit more… And all of sudden I lost my balance as a ladder was knocked over. I fell down on a top of someone. When I looked who it was, I saw no one else than Draco. Is he following me or what, that he always ends up somewhere near? We got on our feet and there was an awkward silence between us. He looked at me apologetically and said "Are you ok?" "Yeah, I'm fine. Did you knock me over?" "Sorry…" he said with guilt on his face. "I'll survive; just don't try to kill me anymore, ok?" "I'll do my best." He said with a smirk on his face. "And what are you doing in the library? I thought this is a place that you try to avoid." Why did I just ask him that? I mean it's totally lame, what is he going to think about me, that I hate him? Why do I even care what he thinks? Was I too nice? Or too mean? "I have to do my homework, I had a quidditch practise yesterday so I have to catch up a bit. What about you?" Of course, how could I forget that. Wait, has he just asked me why I'm in the library? He cares why I'm in the library? Crazy... Oh, I've got to answer him. "So, yeah, I don't really have anything to do so I came to borrow some books. I've just tried to get that book, but I can't reach it..." "Come on, I'll help you." He hold the ladder, while I tried to get the book. When I got it, he grabbed me around my waist and gently put me down. When I turned around our faces were inches apart. His hands were still on my waist and I looked into his eyes and he looked down at me, there was electricity in the air... And then someone in the next row has coughed and we broke apart. I said politely "Well, if you need some help with your homework, I'm going to be outside. Oh, and thanks for the book. Bye." I said and tried to walk out of the library calmly. But as soon as I was outside I started to run, I wanted to laugh and cry, to scream out loud, but keep it a secret. I wasn't sure how to feel about it; should I be happy that we didn't kiss or not? I went out but instead of reading books I was daydreaming, imagining every possible scenario that could happen in the library. I was pretty positive that I was in love with him. But in the night, when I could think normally again, I thought: why him? Why in a whole school of nice boys I found Draco? I fell asleep, still wondering about it...

_Draco_

_After what has happened in the library I couldn't study. Pansy let me copy her homework but even then I had problems with it, I just couldn't concentrate. Pansy was all over me, trying to comfort me and she was driving me mad. Usually her thinking that she's my girlfriend didn't bother me, but now I couldn't stand her anymore. She was so annoying, but she wouldn't go away, although I said I want to be alone. I said I'm not feeling well and used this as an excuse to go to my bed. I was seriously confused. What now? I was obviously in love with that Gryffindor, but what to do? I can't date her, what would my friends think? And my parents, they would be furious if they'd found out I'm dating a Gryffindor. Is she at least pure-blood? I will have to ask someone. But not her, I would die of shame if I would have to ask her about her ancestors. I would die of shame if I would have to talk to her again. What to do? I still didn't get an answer. Well, she at least isn't a friend of Harry Potter. But she's in Gryffindor! And what's her name? Oh my god, I forgot her name. Have I ever even heard it? I think not, no teacher has ever mentioned her name. I don't even know what my love's name is, what a jerk I am. Wait a second; did I just call her my love? I'm getting crazy. I should ask someone for an advice. But who can I trust? I'm not going to that Umbridge woman, although my dad says I should be her pet student and trust her, because she's very important. Snape is a head of my house but if I come to him with my love problems, he's just going to poison me as soon as he can. McGonagall is objective, but I highly doubt she's got many experiences in love. If I think better, none of our teachers is very experienced in love. Maybe I should write to my parents... Ok, I can't write my mum because she going to go mad, she's so protective. Maybe dad... But I can't tell him who this is about, he would throw me out of his will. I couldn't think of anyone else so I took a parchment and a quill and started writing._

_**Dear dad,**_

_**How are you?**__** I've got a problem. I **love** like a girl. **__She loves me back.__** She possibly likes me too. **__Should I kiss her?__ Should I tell her that I like her?__** Should I do anything about it? **_

_**Write back soon, **_

_**Draco**_

_**P.S**__**. **Don't you dare to tell mom!__** Can you please don't mention this to my mom?**_

_After a few tries I got it right. I gave this letter to my owl and send it. Now all that's left is wait. Until I get an answer, I suppose it's the best to act like nothing has happened. Like I don't care. I think this will be the best way, although it will be hard. With this solution I went to sleep to prepare myself for another day. I had a feeling it's going to be tough one._

_I woke up and the morning started pretty well. I ate my breakfast and I could easily pretend yesterday was just another ordinary Sunday. It was tougher when I came to the Potions. At first I tried to ignore her as much as I could, trying not to look at her. I wasn't really paying attention to professor Snape until he said "I'm going to put you in pairs myself, otherwise you're going to blow up each other." We definitely will if he sits us together with Gryffindors. And then it has suddenly occurred me that something dreadful could happen; he can put me and that Gryffindor together. He was saying names of who will sit together and I was repeating the same thing in my head: not her, not her, not her. I heard him say "Draco, you're going to be in pair with Sarah. You're going to work at Malfoy's cauldron." Who's Sarah? I saw Her standing up awkwardly, stepping really slowly towards my table. Out of everyone, he had to choose Her. Well, at least I know Her name now. So, Sarah came to my cauldron. We were on the opposite sides and we were trying really hard to not make an eye contact. We didn't say a word meanwhile Snape gave us instructions. After that we stood up silently and went to take ingredients. We were in that small room where Snape stored ingredients. We were looking for an Asphodel and we already checked almost all the shelves when I saw it. I quickly tried to take it, but at the same time, she saw it and tried to take it too. We both grabbed it and before we could realize our hands touched. When that happened it felt like electricity would have shocked me. My stomach was clenched, my knees were weak and I stopped breathing. I wanted to take my hand away, but my hands wouldn't do what I wanted. I wanted to run, but my legs didn't respond. After a few seconds of this shock I slowly gained the control of my body. After that I quickly got out of that room and went back to the cauldron. I was ashamed of myself, leaving her like that, but I didn't have the gut to do anything until I would receive an answer from my dad. Until then, I will act ice cold, like I just did. There is no need that she knows I almost fainted in there. But although I said that there's no need that she knows I love her, I knew I've just made a big mistake._

**Sarah**

It was so awkward when Snape called me to sit with Draco. I moved there as normally as I could, but it still felt weird. We were waiting for Snape to give instructions and then got to work in a complete silence. It was uncomfortable. It wasn't the kind of silence when nobody has anything to say. It was the kind of silence when there is so much to tell, but nobody says anything. We went to get ingredients and we searched them in that cupboard. We were looking for Asphodel and when we found it our hands touched; I was just a bit faster, so my hand was around Asphodel, while his was wrapped around mine. I didn't have butterflies in my stomach; it felt like I had kangaroos in my stomach as it was jumping up and down. My hands were shaking and I began to feel dizzy. After a few seconds he suddenly moved and almost ran out of that room. He was scared. I felt disappointed and I wanted to cry but it was in the middle of the lesson so I breathed deeply a few times and went after him; we didn't speak to each other the rest of the hour and he was acting so cold, that he clearly told me he had no feelings for me. We ignored each other for the rest of the day and I played an ice queen all day very well. I acted like I didn't care, like he was the last thing I would've think of. But in the night, when nobody was watching, I broke apart. I started crying, at first there were just a few tears dripping down my cheeks, but then it soon became like waterfalls, I cried so hard. I tried to be as silent as I could, but any now and then a sob could be heard. I bended my knees and cuddled up. I was so miserable. I really thought he had feelings for me. It seems like it was just a delusion. How could I ever fall for someone so mean? Someone, who's such a jerk. I actually wanted to kiss him. And I still want to. How can a Devil pulls you towards someone so who looks so innocent? And how can someone turn so quickly; from beautiful to evil? How could he in just a few days take my heart and tore it into a million pieces? And how is it possible, that even after that, I still love him? I will forget him and I will never love anyone again! Never! Love is for weak and blinded. It gives you great moments at the beginning, but then it just destroys you. It's an evil thing. I fell asleep full of love and hatred with tears still running down my cheeks. In my dreams I saw flashbacks of every single moment with him, happy, sad or unimportant. But all the time I was seeing these flashbacks, there were two words playing in the back of my mind: **never again.**

* * *

**Hey!**

**Hope you liked it, I turned it on more emotional side it's not so many events anymore, do you like it? I know, I'm mean to turn out such a nasty thing out of their relationship, but I think that it's going to be ok... After some time. **** But I'm telling you too much. So, technically, if anyone has any requests just tell me, either through review or PM. Love you guys, all of you that read this story and tell others too. **

**P.S. Review, review, review or at least send a PM. (I don't know if you like it otherwise) **

**P.S.S. At the end I listened to I knew you were trouble by Taylor Swift so it's possible that it influenced it a bit… You decide**

**P.S.S.S. I have to thank to my friend Tanja who always support me and reads my fanfictions. Her profile name is .thunder.**

**P.S.S.S.S. I hope my English was fine.**


	8. Chapter 7: The Truth

**It takes a minute to read, but an hour to write.**

Sarah

I woke up. I sat up straight and looked around. Nobody has woken up yet. I stood up and dressed myself. I sat back on the bed and looked into wall. Last night's love and hatred went away; I didn't have any feelings left. On the outside I was the same as any other day, but there was nothing left inside me. I couldn't cry, I couldn't laugh. I was like a marble statue; cold and stiff. Last night it felt like I'm going to shatter into a million pieces. It felt like I would have a hole instead of body, like nothing was there, just that burning pain, heart pain. But now… now it was like I would be made out of iron. I was cold and strong, without feelings. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It also makes you more careful. I learned something very important. If you let anyone become your everything, you're left with nothing when they leave. So don't love anything. Or anyone. You're going to lose everything. You're going to lose yourself. I went to the bathroom and looked myself in the mirror. My pale skin, grey eyes and black hair gave the same impression; that cold perfection. I went on a breakfast. That last ray of hope was gone when some Slytherin kissed him. Although she kissed him on a cheek I couldn't stand it. I ate because I had to, everything was tasteless for me. During the lessons I was trying to do my best. This disappointment motivated me to work even harder. I'm going to show him, one day he's going to pay…

_Draco_

_I woke up. I thought about her and a smile spread over my face. Everything seems brighter and better when you're in love. I jumped out of my bed and dressed myself. I was early, so I was among the first to come into the Hall. After some time my friends joined me. They asked me why I didn't wait for them, but they never got an answer. Owls suddenly flew in and I was happy to see my owl was back too. I hurried and unwrapped the letter from its leg. I opened it, glad to see it is dad's. While I read it Pansy came and went through her usual procedures of greeting me. But all of sudden she kissed me on my cheek and said "I don't possibly like you, I love you." She sat next to me with a smile. I suddenly realized. She must've read this letter and thought it's about her. I checked my letter again._

_Dear Draco,_

_You know I don't have time playing these little kids game 'Does she love me or not?' But I decided to answer to your stupid letter anyway. You should first find out if she really loves you not just 'possibly likes you' Second; it's very important from which family she is. If she's not pureblood, you of course can't love her. If she's from a good family, date her. If you don't know, just ignore her, there will be many more good girls, don't rush into things. _

_See you soon,_

_Lucius Malfoy_

_That was not good at all. If Pansy thought it's about her, she's going to date me. And besides that, my dad's advice is pretty lame. But he's more experienced, he must know more things about love… Well, his instructions are clear, I should ignore her. Well, I will just continue with this. But I was very unhappy about it; I wanted to be with her, not ignore her. But my dad knows what the best thing to do is. So I continued with my ignoring. The good news was that she doesn't seem to be very disappointed, she handled it very well. Maybe she's a bit colder towards me than before, but she was pretty much the same. I tried to move on too, but it was hard. I tried not to cry, but in the night I sometimes just couldn't stand it, remembering all moments I spent with her. My dad would say that I'm a girl. But he was never satisfied with me. I wasn't smart enough, talented enough, handsome enough, powerful enough… Not good enough in short. Hope he will be at least glad I did what he told me about Sarah. It hurt but after some time I got used to it, it became normal to ignore her. I will soon forget her…_

Sarah

Draco's ignorance hurt me, but I gave him up long time ago. I gave up everyone. I decided I will stay alone, as this was the only way no one would've disappoint me.

Even though I tried to stay emotionless, it was hard. One day some Gryffindors started to tease me, calling me Emo girl. I lost my nerves and suddenly glass started to break, there were explosions everywhere and everything was falling apart. Gryffindors were screaming "Stop it! Stop it!", but the thing was, I didn't do anything. I didn't even have a wand in my hand, let alone waving with it. Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere. "I didn't do it professor, I swear!" I shouted, while he took me to his office. There, he sat behind his desk, checking out some weird stuff in a bowl. It was neither liquid nor gas. I didn't have any time to wonder about it, my brains were still trying to explain what happened before. After a while he said "Come to my office every Tuesday and Friday. I'm going to teach you how to control your magic. You're going to have lessons of Occlumency with professor Snape every Wednesday too. Now, you can go to your dormitory." He surprised me. Why didn't he tell me what happened? I wanted to ask him, but he dismissed me with a wave of his hand. I shut the door a little louder than I should and I went to the Forbidden forest. I walked on the edge of it, thinking about what has just happened. I didn't like Dumbledore hiding things from me. I wanted to know what was going on! Obviously I had to find out myself. Dumbledore said he's going to teach me how to control my magic. Considering that, there was some kind of magic leaking out of me. I felt like I was contaminated. But wasn't this school for magic? Isn't everyone here magical? Why was it such a problem that I've done some magic? What about kids, they can't control magic, but everyone is okay with that. That's probably the key; everyone is forcing wands into kids' hands. After some time they can't do any magic without it. But if you look at other magical beings; they can do magic without wands. I'm going to learn that too! I decided I give it a try right there. I sat down opposite big tree and I started to think how to do something to it. I wanted to at least move a leave, but it didn't want too. I thought about the previous situation; I was angry back then. What makes me angry? A sudden thought came into my mind: Draco! All my blood came to my head, my hands started to shake, my whole body was tensed. Then I tried to transfer my anger towards the tree and flames soon started at tree's roots. I was pleased; I could do something nobody else could. And Draco will never know who did that spell that hit him. He's finally going to pay…

**Sorry it took me so long to write it. I had a lot of stuff to do in school, I had a minor writer's block but now I'm back in track and I'm going to post more during our holidays (we have them this week **** )**

**Please comment, review or send me a PM if you liked it! **


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